Social Media Madness
I feel like my anxieties are coming back again. Not so much a full on panic attack, but just the feeling of my heart reaching painful thumps in my chest, and my tummy doing the can can.
And then I wonder, why am I doing this. I don't have time to have a panic attack because I have to be doing about a million things at once, while being an mother, a wife, a friend, while also being awesome on social media.
And that's when it hits me: social media/internet is partly to blame. When it's something like someone doesnt like my post: I'm a shit friend. When a news post reads "BREAKING NEWS": cue fallout shelter. My map to work shows delays or an accident: quickly panic while finding another route.
No matter when everything in my life starts to add up and look slightly okay, my day to day stuff is looking worst. Long term stuff I can deal with because it's a on going thing, I can do it, because I have time to do it and get my head round it. Other stuff like what happens on social media- not so much.
And its never ending.
People with anxieties spend half of their day worrying about something that they have read, seen, or even written, because our minds can't switch it off. we always go back to it, and continue to go back to it, because in some ways it makes it real to us that we didn't just read something in our minds or see something that has made us all panicked. It may not help the problem, and many people will say "well why not do something to take your mind off it" (it's not that simple, Barbara) because it's always going to be on it. Even if you were successful in taking your mind off it for a few minutes, your mind reminds you and you're back to the heart thumping and have to quickly to go back to panic stations.
I would love to go back to the girl, sitting on my doorstep waiting for my dad to come home on his bike, and not have to worry about traffic jams, breaking news and if my post doesn't get alot of likes.
It was definitely easier before the internet.
And then I wonder, why am I doing this. I don't have time to have a panic attack because I have to be doing about a million things at once, while being an mother, a wife, a friend, while also being awesome on social media.
And that's when it hits me: social media/internet is partly to blame. When it's something like someone doesnt like my post: I'm a shit friend. When a news post reads "BREAKING NEWS": cue fallout shelter. My map to work shows delays or an accident: quickly panic while finding another route.
No matter when everything in my life starts to add up and look slightly okay, my day to day stuff is looking worst. Long term stuff I can deal with because it's a on going thing, I can do it, because I have time to do it and get my head round it. Other stuff like what happens on social media- not so much.
And its never ending.
People with anxieties spend half of their day worrying about something that they have read, seen, or even written, because our minds can't switch it off. we always go back to it, and continue to go back to it, because in some ways it makes it real to us that we didn't just read something in our minds or see something that has made us all panicked. It may not help the problem, and many people will say "well why not do something to take your mind off it" (it's not that simple, Barbara) because it's always going to be on it. Even if you were successful in taking your mind off it for a few minutes, your mind reminds you and you're back to the heart thumping and have to quickly to go back to panic stations.
I would love to go back to the girl, sitting on my doorstep waiting for my dad to come home on his bike, and not have to worry about traffic jams, breaking news and if my post doesn't get alot of likes.
It was definitely easier before the internet.
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